~sapatos
I was talking to a friend of mine a few days ago. We were on our way to alabang to have a few drinks and I never thought that this topic would pop out. I guess I kinda expected it even just a bit coz we always talk about serious stuff when we are together. Well here goes…
Our conversation started out with the topic “sapatos.” At first its kinda weird but as our conversation continues I got really really really interested. this sapatos represents a person, it can be someone you love etc. again its so weird but as you connect everything up you’ll end up with an open mouth thinking…. “Tangina! Onga no?”
She started by using a scenario:
You went to a mall and you saw the perfect pair of shoes. The perfect one you have been looking for, for a very long time. The problem is, it’s the last pair and its not your size. Would you buy it and force your feet in it? or settle for the next best pair wherein you’ll feel comfortable in it but you don’t like it as the first one?
Yeah its just a plain and simple question. But if you’ll take a look at it twice, if you’ll just read between the lines you’ll feel what I felt that time. The best pair is the one you really like. She is the best thing for you, she have everything you’ve been looking for in a girl but the thing is, she does not come in your size… you can’t be together or you are just not for each other. Would you pursue this love of yours even if it doesn’t fit? Would you force yourself for her love? Would you walk with that pair when you know in the end of the day you’ll end up with blisters on your hurting feet? Would you go all that trouble just to wear that pair?
Then here comes the follow-up question. Would you settle for the next thing? This person is the one who’s always there for you. Always there to comfort you. Always ready to love you and give herself to you. She’s always there waiting for you to even notice her an take her.
And so, I answered the question. i said that I’ll settle for the next best thing. I feel that my answer has been greatly influenced by my principles as an international relations major. Not getting the best thing doesn’t mean that you’ll be left empty-handed. Therefore, you should settle for your next best pay-off which is purchasing the next best pair.
Then she again followed another question up:
Q: what if you bought the next best thing and after a week when you got back to that store the pair that you really want is finally available in your size. Would you still settle for the next best pair that you hastily bought. Or go again for the best?
Then BOOM! I was suddenly speechless. She has a clear and direct point that left me with a wow! God! Aver hard question. let’s look at it in different views. Choosing the next best thing, which you now have, will not let you maximize your pay-offs or get the one that your heart really desires. You’ll be left with thoughts of, if I only I went for the one I really have. Next view is, you choosing the ONE, the one you really like, the one who has after a while finally became right for you, not ready to love you. Now that you got the one, the one that has been running in your dreams, what would you do with the next best pair that you hastily bought? Would you keep it? wear it sometime? Or simply just forget you ever bought it? that’s the problem you’ll just hurt the one who is willing to love you from the start, the one who has been there all these time the one who loves you with all her heart…. What would you do?
Then just now, while writing this a thought suddenly came into me.
Q: would you prefer loving someone and be hurt by her or being loved by someone and in hurting since you don’t love her back?
This question has been around for a very long time. and for me its really hard to answer. Mine is just derived from it. it goes:
Q: would you love someone who doesn’t love you back or being loved by someone whom you don’t love?
See, its really hard to answer but I think I have one for myself. For me, I think I’d choose the latter part. Coz, I have loved before. I loved her really really badly, with all my heart. The thing is, I wasn’t loved back. And its so hard. Its so so hard. I felt the pain. And of course you can’t do anything with it especially when his person is in love with someone else. I don’t’ want to be hurt again. I know my answer is really selfish and I cant do anything more. I choose the one who loves me. Now although I don’t love her… “natututunan naman ang magmahal” maybe I could learn to love her back. Its been a long time since I felt loved… get me? The thing is…what if, what if the one I love is finally able to love me back? SHIT! And I’m back on the start!
Love is a very tricky game. You never know if you’ll win or if you’ll lose! It’s a game of chance, a game of guts! You have to play using your instincts since the game of love doesn’t have rules. The prize of winning is the best thing life could give you but the penalty of losing is HELL!
Mr. Brightside posted its thoughts at 9:34 PM
----------
~wearing a mask
A mask is used to conceal what’s behind it. Masks come in different shapes, colors and sizes so as the ones who use it. People cover their faces with masks to hide their secrets only them know. But no secrets are left undiscovered. Sooner or later they will reveal themselves in their own ways and at their own times.
People wear masks because they are too scared to show the real them. to show who they really are. Let’s face it, everyone wears one. I strongly feel that no one has ever been true to themselves. What I mean, totally true. All of us have dirty little secrets. But why hide them. Its not about being scared, it’s about being embarrassed. we hide these secrets and wish that no one would ever find them. We’re embarrassed not of the secret but about what other people will think.
Every person is a critique and you can’t do anything about it. These people will look at you from head to toe and then there goes criticism. Yes even I. I am a very opinionated critique and I’ll say whatever I see. Its ok to be one the problem is, sometimes people exaggerate too much and the story becomes different from what it should really be. These critiques force people to hide their secrets and wear their masks.
But why do some value what other people should say? I mean, why do they let other people stop them from what they want or who they really are. Its because this is a dog eat dog world. You have to be strong. Any signs of weakness will allow these predators to eat you whole. Thus, you can’t show them who you really are. But this isn’t always the reason, this is just how I see it. also, people wear masks to blend in, a good way to hide their secrets. in our community, especially the conservative Filipinos, signs of being different send different sorts of messages. When the receiver interprets this the results show negativity. Especially the old ones, lets say 40 and above, everything that don’t follow traditions or norms are wrong, better yet… sinful. They have narrow minds and is hard for them the open them up and to accept changes in our society. As they always say, nothing is permanent in this world but change. And these changes happen so quickly that you should be the one to catch on.
Anyway, going back to what I was saying awhile ago. Masks. I was watching tv a couple of nights ago and there’s this person who finally revealed who he really is. Rustum Padilla. He’s been the talk of the town for some time now. He showed greater courage not by just telling it to the whole world but in accepting what he really is. He received so many praises from people from the industry. Rustum, who usually portray macho roles in films he did, finally admitted that he is gay. Well, even without admitting it, it is really obvious. Anyway, while he was admitting to the world he said that, here in the Philippines, if one is gay then, he should talk, walk, dress and act like a girl. Come to think of it. yeah! Only here. I watch will and grace and will being a gay guy doesn’t seem to be one. without know he is gay, I won’t suspect he is (just for the show I mean). Anyway, fab 5 from the queer eye, their gay but they are good dressers. Going back to rustum, he said that, “hindi ako masamng tao” this I don’t get! Maybe again for the traditional Filipino mind, being gay is bad. Well I guess we can’t do anything about that. You can’t be bad as long as you are being true to yourself and you are not on the way or stepping on others.
Well, I highly respect rustum for removing his mask. No one yet has ever “come out” on TV before rustum. He showed courage in doing it. well, at least that’s one done from people who wears masks. Before I finish this, I want to clear that by wearing a mask doesn’t mean you are gay or a lesbo. You can use that mask for different reasons like, your cheating on your girl, you are lying about yourself (background, personality etc), maybe a masks to keep your secret as being an extraterrestrial. Anyway, rustum is just an example I used for people who are wearing masks. Look around you, are you really sure that your friend, your seatmate in your algebra class, your girlfriend, your best friend, your sibling or your parents are being true to you. You’re not, right? Because its been like this for the longest time. Its human nature and it will take forever for everyone to completely remove theirs. And if ever that these masks are removed, lets just accept the person on who she or he really is. Let’s open our minds and accept changes. To end, I wanna leave the million dollar question… are you being true?
Mr. Brightside posted its thoughts at 7:39 PM
----------
